


Remember Me Fondly

by Idreamofhazel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apocalypse, Apologies, Archangel Gabriel (Supernatural), Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Relationship Problems, Trickster Gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 15:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8333347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idreamofhazel/pseuds/Idreamofhazel
Summary: Your relationship with Gabriel undergoes extreme struggles over the years while he prances around as the trickster. But you know it’s all a facade to mask what's troubles him. The real trick is getting him to see the same before it’s too late.





	

Deep down, Gabriel was never the flashy, suave, candy-man that he pretended to be. He did have a sweet tooth and a flair for the dramatic, but his tricks were illusions to mask the deep pain he felt over the cracks in his family’s relationships. Heaven’s breaking had left him broken and he used sweets, girls, and “justified” douche killing to smooth over the fissures. He thought the fillings were golden, a beautiful contribution to his already perfected personality. You saw them as they were: tile grout in a mundane hue, ugly and grating. 

You loved the angel. Your opinion about his recent activities were not meant to be insulting. You hoped they would awaken the dormant angel you knew, the one Gabriel had forgotten. Instead they had pushed him further away. Last you heard, he was somewhere in Florida playing mind games with a couple of hunters. Before that, he had wreaked havoc on a college campus, all in good fun of course. You remembered that event very clearly because you went to that campus to seek him out and hopefully talk him off the trickster ledge. 

* * *

_“Please tell me the alligator in the sewer wasn’t you, Gabe.” You pleaded with him desperately in your hotel room. What had started as a conversation between two lovers quickly crumbled and rebuilt itself into a fight once you brought up the concerns plaguing your every waking thought. You would push past the arguing, though, you had to for Gabe’s sake. You couldn’t be scared of confrontation._

 _“Baby cakes, you know that man was a big bag of dicks. He had it coming.”_

 _

Gabriel showed no hint of remorse. A playful twinkle danced in his eyes as he moved closer to you with open arms, but you rejected him, crossing your arms as tears stung your eyes. 

“You’re crazy, Gabe, if you think I’m going to agree with you on this. This isn’t you and you know it!” 

“Don’t presume to know everything about me!” His arms had dropped tensely at his sides, but the volume of his voice was climbing. 

“I know all about you! I know who you really are while you gallivant around earth pretending to be a trickster. I know why you’re putting on the mask. I know why you’re running from yourself!” 

“I’m not running. This is me now, sugar.” 

He stood there relaxed, arms out in display of all he was. Smoke and mirrors is what you saw, though. There was nothing solid to him anymore. He was as fake as the clouds of tricks that vaporized at his whim. Your jaw was clenched in shock, anger, sadness and mostly just disbelief that your caring, loyal, loving angel had fallen this far. 

You spoke through your teeth, unable to move your jaw much more than that because of the choking feeling gripping your throat. “You’re insane if you think I’m buying into any of this.” 

“Oh, I’m definitely crazy, honey. But if crazy equals genius, then I must be a rocket scientist.” 

“No. You’re Victor Frankenstein. You’re creating a monster of yourself and it’s going to ruin everything you love!” 

“Everything I love is already gone! I thought you knew that, miss ‘I know everything about you.’ I. Have. Nothing!” 

His words pierced through the air like a jagged sword, knocking down any sounds and leaving a chilling silence that was only broken after you processed his confession enough to utter three heartbreaking words. 

“You had me.” 

Your stomach had tumbled into the pits of the earth when those words fell from your lips. Gabriel could no longer see the one person who remained with him, who stood directly in front of him. He was blinded by perceived loneliness and rejection, hiding from his family who he thought was his all. Your love was not enough to make him see how he could get by without them, you realized that now, and so you backed away from the best thing you had in your life, unsure of whether it would wither and die after these remarks or spring back into life once the seed had time to grow inside Gabriel. 

He never responded to your final plea. He looked at you with sadness creeping into his eyes. His playboy facade faded slightly before he snapped his fingers and disappeared, leaving you alone and scared. You felt like that was the end, that you had shoved him off the ledge by accident instead of coaxing him off of it. Only time would tell, though.

_

* * *

That meeting was three years ago. About a year later was when you caught wind of his activities in Florida. Once he went seemingly quiet for a couple of years, you hoped his silence meant forfeiture of his debonair performance and that he would find you again. But days turned into weeks, weeks to months, and before you knew it, you had fallen into a daily routine that was painstakingly normal and without many thoughts of your runaway angel. 

You were in the middle of one those normal routines, making dinner for one after work while a sitcom played on the television in your small apartment. You could see the picture over the counter in your kitchen. 

As you were lazily chopping away at vegetables, a distinct and almost-forgotten sound of ruffling feathers disturbed the air behind you. All of your breath was sucked out your lungs as you spun around and laid eyes on the surprisingly weary and facade-less angel. The evening light was hitting his eyes just right and they glowed like amber. His hair was gel-less and his clothes were nondescript. You felt a pang in your heart and stomach as you took in this sight for sore eyes. 

“You might want to drop the knife, sugar plum.” 

Gabriel’s smile was soft and polite and his voice was like sweet syrup dripping into your ears. It took you a moment, but eventually you did place the knife on the counter. 

“I thought I’d never see you again.” Your voice shook with raw emotion. Suddenly, all the good memories and feelings of love and whispered promises came flooding back again, things you had tucked away properly in the recesses of your mind. You had willed yourself to put them away, but it took no effort to break down the dam and begin the flood. 

Gabriel stepped slowly towards you. Any hint of his arrogant playboy act had vanished, leaving the frayed remains of your angel’s true self bared out for you to see. “I’ve thought a lot about what you said to me. I finally realized I was the big bag of dicks.” 

You choked out a sob. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You had thought that you had permanently pushed away your angel, that he was angered by you, no longer wanting anything to do with you. You honestly believed you would never see him again, that he would’ve died at the hands of some hunters or other angels before you ever got the chance to see him one last time. 

“Baby cakes, please don’t cry. I meant for this to be a happy time, after I apologized for turning into a big fat douche canoe, of course.” 

You couldn’t help but giggle while teardrops streaked down your cheeks. His creative nicknames brought back fond memories of times with your angel, sampling decadent desserts in the cafes of Paris or watching as he fended off sleazy jerks at the bar. This reunion was almost too good to be true. 

“I am happy, I just always thought I’d pushed you away for good.” 

“Oh, no no no. You could never do that.” 

Gabriel finally closed the gap between the two of you, pulling you into his arms while you shook with sobs. The embrace felt like pure magic, completely warming and reassuring, with a twinge of regretful desperation on the fringes. Your angel had truly missed you and held you tightly to show how he had never truly wanted to let you go. “I was pretty pissed at you, though,” you admitted with your face in his chest. 

“I know,” he said, pulling back and looking into your eyes. “And I was pretty pissed at you, too. But I quickly realized you were speaking the truth. But I’m stubborn. I thought I could prove you wrong. But you’re right, I can’t run from myself or my family. I’ve learned that.” 

A shadow of guilt and sadness settled over his features and his eyes had a faraway look in them. 

“You know I forgive you, right?” 

“Yes, I do. But you’re going to have to forgive me again.” 

“For what?” 

“You’ll see. But first, let me try to make this up to you.” 

Before you could protest, Gabriel had whisked you away to the lawn of the Eiffel Tower. You stood in the dewy grass, clothed in a sundress and sweater, standing before a carefully laid out picnic underneath a canopy of stars and a bright, full moon. The sight was wonderful and breathtaking, but the emotional high was quickly put under check when you realized Gabriel was trying too hard to apologize. Your heart dropped a little as you thought that he may not have changed completely, that vestiges of his trickster act were still lingering and influencing his behavior. You didn’t want that, you wanted a sincere gesture from him before you let him back in your life. 

“Gabriel, you don’t have to put on a show to apolo-” 

“This isn’t a show. I wanted to treat my lady to a sweet surprise.” 

Holding back from joining his picnic, you examined his demeanor, checking for any playful pandering or sly smiles. But his tone was gentle and serious, his face was sincere and his grin was a reflection of the pure happiness he felt being in your presence again. 

“Ok.” 

You smiled warmly at him as you conceded to his apology, letting him guide you down with one hand onto the blanket, and you enjoyed the spread of desserts coming from a seemingly bottomless basket. Throughout the lovely, nostalgic meal, in between the sweet moments of catching up, innocent teasing, and tentatively embracing one another again for the first time in years, tugging at your heart was the solemn confession Gabriel had made earlier: you were going to have to forgive him again for something else. You had to know what he meant. You couldn’t fully enjoy this time with him while something so ominous hung over your heads. 

“Gabriel?” 

“Yes, baby cakes?” 

Gabriel was in the middle of licking melted chocolate off his fingers, one hand behind his back, fingers spread out on the blanket supporting him as he lounged on the lawn. “Can you tell me why I’m going to have to forgive you again?” 

Gabriel let off his arm, twisting to face you completely. He was no longer relaxed and that concerned you further. You had no idea what the angel was about to tell you, but all clues pointed to bad news and you weren’t ready for that, not after just getting your angel back. 

“My family problems are starting to catch up to me, sweetums. And like I said earlier, I’ve thought a lot about what you said.” 

You held your breath, waiting for him to continue. His family problems were not kosher dinner table arguments. The spats of his brothers and sisters usually resulted in acres of land being burned to a crisp or complete cities crumbling to the ground. You had never wanted him to run from his heritage, but you knew just how dangerous his family could be. 

“Have you been paying attention to the news?” he asked. 

You nodded. Whole towns turning on each other. Forest fires blazing. Floods sweeping away homes. Threats of war, famine, and disease. All of these were regular segments on the morning and nightly news, leaving you and everyone else feeling like the end of the world was upon you. 

“Then you’ve seen all the death and destruction. That’s my family having another one of their squabbles. But this time, I can’t ignore it. This time, it involves the fate of the entire planet and everyone in it.” 

“What are you going to do?” you whispered, fearing the worst. 

“I have to try to stop it. I have to confront my brothers and convince them to let go of this ancient nonsense. As much as I hate my family’s issues, I love my brothers and sisters, too.” 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Gabriel was talking about the apocalypse. Your happiness quickly turned and you found yourself crying again, this time out of hopelessness and despair. Your angel’s life was truly threatened now and there was nothing you could do to stop it. You felt powerless and angry. It wasn’t fair that this was happening. It wasn’t fair that Gabriel had to be drug into fights he didn’t start, while you barely had enough time to apologize and make up. 

“What does that mean, f-for us?” you stammered. 

Gabriel placed a tender hand under your chin, smiling sweetly with glistening moisture threatening to spill over onto his own cheeks. 

“I’ve always been one to make plans up as I go, haven’t I? You’ll know if I come back to you, after everything’s been done.” 

Anxiety swelled up inside of you, your heartbeat picking up pace and dread flooding every vein in your body. Surely he didn’t actually meant he might not make it back alive. 

“If? If!” 

“Shhh, shhh, come here. Listen.” He pulled you into his lap, stroking your hair as he whispered into your ears. “I want you to know that even though you forgive me, I may not ever be able to forgive myself for what I did to you. I love you too deeply to ever make light of what I did to us. And I love you too deeply to leave you in the dark forever, wondering what happened to me. You are the sweetest, brightest star in my life. You always will be. Know that always. There will never be anyone else. And when you wake up tomorrow, and when you carry on day-to-day without me again, I don’t want you to think about our time apart. I want you to remember this. I want you to remember all of our precious time together. Please, remember me fondly.” 

Those were the last words you ever heard Gabriel speak. He didn’t let you protest as he lulled you to sleep with his grace and transported you back to your apartment, holding you in his arms one last time. He wished he were cradling you to his chest as he carried you over the threshold of a new home, preparing to begin your happily ever after together, but those ideals were never meant for the angel. You could find them eventually, though, with or without him. He placed you softly into bed, tucking the covers around you and lightly brushing strands of your hair away from your face one last time. He watched you sleep peacefully, making sure your first dreams were sweet and beautiful, and when he had stayed long enough, he placed a lingering kiss on your forehead, before fluttering away to face his fate.


End file.
